sepi~

ku bisikkan kepada bulan

kembalikan

temanku, kekasihku, syurgaku

tanpanya,

malam menemaniku

sepi memelukku

bulan,

jangan biar siang

biar alam ini kelam

biar ia sepi sepertiku~

mission 4 to belum- sudah!

day one-

sent by papa to MERCY hQ in ampang ( papa was reminiscing the whole way )

met with k.lin ( mixed emotions )

met wendy , kriss, dr. v, dr. ghu, k. is, k. nora ( all gurls team )

short breifing ( slurping my slurpee )

off we went ( slept with my mouth open hehe )

stopped at k.k ( picked up k. ita )

reached HOTEL TASIK BELUM at about maghrib

day two-

breakfast at 9 o'clock ( woke up late! )

went to the jeti ( adrenaline rush nk naek boat! )

loaded the stuff into the boat ( berat ooo the dental chair )

one hour boat ride ( lifejacket on! )

reached kg. sgai tiang ( ekh ade concrete building? )

astonished at the big setlement ( loads of huts )

unloaded the stuff ( rupe2 nye the concrete building was a tadika chum community hall )

set up stuff ( soo many dogs )

went to the school to get tables ( jumpe teachers posted there )

waited for MOH ( already getting hot )

got friendly with the kids ( bahasa n jahai tribe )

"soj"= makan! ( got the kids to smile finally! )

org. asli came at 12 sumthin ( with thier kain batiks and kids )

taught kids how to brush teeth ( evn i didn't know it was the right way )

k. lin taught a whole lot of kids ( me took pictures )

gave coupons for towels ( last time they got hygeine kits )

taught them to brush thier teeth and inroduced the pad ( all in the pocket! )

dr. ghu was busy with her dental work ( helped by k.nora n k. is )

whinced at the sounds of thier teeth being scaled ( the kids were braver )

saw pap smears being taken! ( with the consent n help of dr. v n k.ita )

checked for lice ( with gloves they have that problem )

left at 3 sumthin after packing ( bought back all rubbish )

had de-briefing after dinner ( the only no complaints one i've attended )

day 3-

had breakfast again ( this time again lambat )

took pics ( we girls know how to pose )

drove a storm back to kuala kangsar!! ( tkot but rase cm power!!! )

papa emmet sent me home ( to opahs house )

i learnt a lot of things while in Belum, the fact that the org. aslis can survive without technology ( xde line there ) and that they didn't cause any problems when we were there ( though some of them like have ' ignorance is bliss' stamped on thier foreheads. i realized that the women were more compliant then the men based by how many of them came. they are a special lot, i really think that evntho we should instill some education in them to improve thier standard of living ( they don't have proper sanitization and lice problems ) but they should still learn thier own culture before they forget it all together. it was an undoubtfully wonderful experience on a whole from nvr knowing that tasik temenggor existed ( i am not good in geography you see ) to getting to drive the Storm. i learnt that evntho i had past problems with k. lin that life moves on and friendships rekindle. i have found my calling and a lot to reflect upon but they are only in my friendster blog!!! peace.

ai nante- listen to the song, u'll love it! =)

dore dake aruitekitan darou
furimuitara namida no ato
kizutsuke kizutsuki tadoritsuita basho
ima koko ni kimi ga iru

ai nante
kimi dake sa
itsudemo motome sugite
ai nante
kimi nashi ja imi nai yo
ikirarenai

hontou ni kokoro de aiseteiru no?
ima demo fuan da yo yeah
hitokiri yume no naka tadoritsuita basho
furueteru kimi ga iru yo

nakanaide
hanasanai yo
subete wo nagesute temo
Mirai nante
kimi nashi ja mienai yo
Iranai yo

Asa no hiizashi ni
Kimi no negao to tereta egao de
Ureshiku nareru kana
Sonna hibi wo kanjita ai yo
Eien ni

ai nante
kimi dake sa
itsudemo motome sugite
ai nante
kimi nashi ja imi nai yo
ikirarenai

Aishitemo Aishikirenai

Mirai nante
kimi nashi ja mienai yo
Iranai yo

English Translation:

just how far have I walked
if I look back behind me, I'll find a trail of tears
i got hurt, and lashed out in turn
and now I've finally reached this place where you are

such a thing as love
it's only you
who always demands for too much
such a thing as love
If I don't have you then there's no meaning to life
then I wont be able to live

do you truly love me with your heart?
even now, I feel insecure yeah...
on my own, I reached that place within my dreams
and when I got there, you were there, shivering

don't cry
I wont ever let you go
even it it means that I'll throw everything away
Even something like the future
I cant see it at all if you're not here
I don't want that at all

The morning rays of sunlight
Shone upon your sleeping face and I smiled, embarassed
Because we were happy then
I wish that the love I felt during those days
would continue forever

such a thing as love
it's only you
who always demands for too much
such a thing as love
If I don't have you then there's no meaning to life
then I wont be able to live

No matter how much I love you, it seems like it's never enough

Even something like the future
I cant see it at all if you're not here
I don't want that at all

do come!

sense

rain signified happiness and dancing to me

but tonight it only bought a still expression

of fear and a silent prayer of thanks

for breathing and life

should have seen the signs of weariness

we all saw the red light

all uttered the same name

but it was too late

it was going on my mind

how i would get hurt at least a little

turned my face and embraced the pain about to come

but it never did

the other car had blissfuly slown down

we were saved but be happy not

our next action embaressed me

maybe it was the shock

we sped like lightning in the rain

never turning back

hearts thumping holding each others hands

we all thanked Allah~

now what?

her prayers are always the same
please let me forget him
and maybe Allah is slowly making this true
as she realizes he doesn't mean that much to her

but then wait
comes the saying
just call my name and i'll be there
then she goes how?

letting go is nvr easy but she's too busy
getting her hands on every project
she wants to escape it all
and be happy as she was before

the story doesn't end here
it won't end anytime soon
she's just moving on slowly
emotions she'll keep at bay

the chapter was closed but not shut
if it is meant to be than it is
but then no hope is involved
she deserves someone better

someone who doesn't glare when she cries
especially someone who never lies
though he taught her a lot of good
she will keep a distance
but will be there if he needs her

just a thought

~never judge a person by what you see~

nings wedding

suprise suprise
she jumps at the opportunity
a celebraties wedding
whoever says no

goes there sees so much
goats catfish chicken but
they don't smell at all at the matrabe hall
they're doing it kg style

watches proudly as yayi recites the doa
why didn't she bring her camera
nenda n wan chik look so petit compared to her
she's uncomfortable with her makeup

she sees siti in tudung
ziana zain in white
chef wan dancing the joget
cat ruffedge n his wife
loads more she doesn't know
and they all do the pocho-pocho
couldn't find aunty yasmin tho ah

but the food was superb
putu piring and kuih lopez
real dodol and apam balik
tempoyak she didn't like
but ravished on ubi kayu and sambal sotong

she goes home in happiness
thinking she wants her wedding
to have the exact same menu
and goes to sleep

jamas influence

saw dis sumwhere, to all you jiwang karats out there...me not included =), ere is sumthin for you!!!

::CINTA ITU::


::penawar::
::kehilangan diri::
::1437::
::keutamaan::
::yang terindah::
::mengubah tingkahlaku::
::ai shi teru::
::kehilangan arah::
::memerlukan ruang::
::khayalan::
::mengikut musim::
::memerlukan cinta::

am sure after reading this all of you think i am as jiwang as it can get kn??nope am not!!!just remembered how i loved this when i was in form five je..buang mase n sakit hati only commitment rite now, dun you agree?

form 5 2004

these are sum of the things people wrote to me in form 5...found em n want to publish them!

FATE is a wierd thing. it does what it wants, when it wants to and with whomever it chooses.. your needs and wants mean mothing, thus creating the saying " LIFE ISN"T FAIR". lets just put it this way, at least it got something right, like crossing our paths.together somehow, we'll manage the rest bit by bit.

-farhanah ahmad jahudi-
-frenship poem-

LOVE is something that is hard to explain, no one can survive this test but without it, one's life would not be the same again.without love, it feels like losing your best most precious valuable,it cannot be explained by word or actions, just floating on the air like free bubbles

-ashwinni mohd shah-
-she wrote it herself!-


written with a pen, sealed with a hug. if you are my fren, please answer my doubt. are we friends or are we not.you told me once but i forgot. so tell me now and tell me true, so i can say i'm here for you. of all the friends i've ever met. you are the one i won't forget. and if i die before you do, i'll go to heaven and wait for you.

-nursyazwani zulhaimi-
-remember form 5?-

** there are actually loads more, but like tunggu ye!

for now

the bright smiles that mask.
a girls broken heart.
she wants to prove she can be happy.
but with no luck.
of unspoken doubts.
too late she realizes what could have been.

a time of conflicts and dillemas.
of trust and jealousy.
he thinks he knows but he doesn't.
what strikes him he cannot feel.
makes a decision then changes his mind.

she listens to people telling her.
he wasn't into you from the start.
he moves on so fast but he doesn't forget.
the girl confidently thinks.
she can say goodbye.
but wait.

you are that boy.
i am that girl.
we both say there's nothing between us.
others say no way.
what to do both of us don't know.

maybe it's just not time yet.
we aren't ready to grow up.
let me say goodbye to you if that is so.
let me let go of you.
for now~

my girls

the click of heels and flashes of cameras
shouts of happiness and the usual " who are u with now?"
hugs all around kisses everywhere
these are the girls i grew up with
ones whom i have shared countless memories
and will still make more to come

tonite though
hana fashionably late as usual
with natural blush the ever so busy working girl
munans scared she's going fat
ready with the cake and candles
zouliey the belle of the ball
not to be confused with how she's dressed tonight

ayu conciously staring at her leggings
what we call her tonight-the harijuku darling
illi the hot 'divorcee'
so thin but now with a fabulous hairdo
ejanne with billabong slippers
how she got em at 17 bucks we all dunno

elly as usual ever so cumel
please dun go on the divider again
piko haven't seen u for so long
ur lookin tall in ur heels
pheps maybe longer
dun laugh when i say u are more ayu den u used to
aposh didn't evn have enuf time to ask
remember when we used to like da same guy?

how i wish we could just lie under the stars
as we had done countless of times before
and just talk the night away
but i guess mr times jealous of us
though time and time again
we know our bond will never break