sy kecewa ngn diri sendiri mase BST with Dr. Azmi tadi. i knew i could have done better but i didn't. entah, will not give any excuses for myself rite now..but rite now, i'll take it as a challenge, thus shall do better..
CURRENTLY.. tgh VIVA!!
yes, am actually updating my blog in the PJRC while Ruben is being examined..HUA!!
last week has been one EVENTFUL weekend. two things of note happened.
let's talk bout the first one, presented our experiences conducting our GHQ-12 survey at the Sepang Formula One Grand Prix during the ASEAN Psychiatry and Mental Health Conference at the Sheraton Imperial, KL. i was so scared coz i had a fever and was coughing badly and all, alhamdulillah Miyayun was there to teman me, with Dr. Rafidah and Puan Norfirdaus. Alas, i couldn't really answer their questions about the results of our study ( nmpk sgt xbuat pape sgt :) ) and i was really scared. the next day, Miyayun made us proud by presenting the study they did at PD Army Camp.
next, i seem to realize that i have a lot of experiences with cars nowadays. this week alone there were two: one, when me and roi were with farouk, his car got overheated and i stopped suddenly, only to start and STOP again at every red light. we were praying for no red lights bt with no avail. then suddenly it couldn't start anymore :( poor farouk walked to find a mechanic while as usual a man in a motorcycle ( have gone through this many times, it's like we are damsels in distress or sumthing ), tried to switch on the engine and told us that the car was overheated. we got the mechanic and farouk had to change the water tank, radiator and starter.
on friday, went home with bugsy. if u dun know, there is a flyover bein built in front of KL central making the road towards Pantai Dalam a measly one lane. and LO BEHOLD! we caused a jam. bugsy was trying to squeeze thru when this blue myvi bumped into the front of his car, and orens bumper came off! what made it more entertaining is the bugsy laughed haha. so he macholy pulled it all off and i carried it to him while he unblocked traffic. felt like one of those models holding a dirty bumper in high heels ( SAPA MAU BELI BUMPER KETE? ) huhu, but we got it fixed temporarily near my house.
so to date i have like four incidents involving cars in this year itself!
1. car tire burst
2. engine had to be changed because minyak itam habis
3. farouks car overheated
4. orens bumper fell off
i can't help bt think this is training for me, and i dun even have my own car yet!!
on a lighter note, went dancing with mama at the old girls building, we danced the cha-cha to Sway- pussycat dolls! jolly good fun!!! toodles~
i
we started our clinical posting in the obstetrics and gynecology ward of Hospital Putrajaya today and got a very challenging response from one particular specialist who asked us question after question and was never satisfied with our answer. He told us we are still not serious and we need to solat tahjud. Which is fair, i certainly wasn't serious today. So for the first time in my life, i clerked and examined 9 patients in a day ( 4 of them were discharged that very afternoon, coz they were post partum ) urgh..thus tomorrow i will have to clerk and examine at least 4 more..
to tell u the truth, i love the theory connected to OnG, i think it's one of the most understandable topics in medicine. However, it's the practical i dread. You see, in my line of work, we see A LOT OF MOTHERS. mothers who are expecting, mothers who miscarriage ( like there is a patient who miscarriaged one of her twins - Innalillah ), mothers who find out their children have chromosomal defects, and ladies who want to be mothers so much, try very hard but find it difficult. i have already met at least 5 people who had/will have a tough time to get pregnant although Alhamdulillah two already have children.
in third year, everytime i watched a miscarriage i would cry. i saw a stillbirth one and forced myself not to cry infront of the DSH neonatologist because i wanted to be professional but the fact is, the second he turned around i wiped them away. in my defense, it's what makes me human.
the thing is, i don't know if this is rational or not but what i don't like comes mainly from the fact that i am terrified i might go through the same thing as them. will i be able to be as strong as they are? will i have the support i need when i cry?
secondly, is because i do not want to get a mothers hopes down. when i conduct a delivery, i want to be the one who does it perfectly and it scares the hell out of me.
on a lighter note, what i LOVE about OnG is when i am in the labour room and i see the husband kissing his wife tenderly as she gives birth to their child, the face of the respected mother when she holds her child for the first time and the look on a new expectant mothers face after trying for so long. i guess thats what makes a specialist choose this field. there, words from my soul.
enough with this babbling. let's study!
winny has jst confirmed with me she has Hodgkins..may Allah help her through chemo..huu looks like i might need that kerusi malas u have bugsy..
