family

for my future reference and current wives/husbands/mothers/fathers taken from my 2nd Assigned Individual Reading tasks, General Practice Murtagh Second Edition

General Practice, Chapter 2Characteristics of healthy families

• Healthy communication. In this situation family members have freedom of expression for their feelings and emotions.
• Personal autonomy. This includes appropriate use of power sharing between spouses.
• Flexibility. This leads to appropriate 'give and take' with adaptation to individual needs and changing circumstances.
• Appreciation. This involves encouragement and praise so that members develop a healthy sense of self-esteem.
• Support networks. Adequate support from within and without the family engenders security, resistance to stress and a healthy environment in general. The family doctor is part of this network.
• Family time and involvement. Studies have shown that the most satisfying hallmark of a happy family is 'doing things together'.
• Spouse bonding. The importance of a sound marital relationship becomes obvious when family therapy is undertaken.
• Growth. There needs to be appropriate opportunities for growth of individual family members in an encouraging atmosphere.
• Spiritual and religious values. An attachment to spiritual beliefs and values is known to be associated with positive family health, supporting the saying 'The family that prays together stays together'

General Practice, Chapter 2Positive guidelines for success in marriage counseling

1. Know yourself. The better you know yourself, the better you will know your mate. Learn about sex and reproduction.
2. Share interests and goals. Do not become too independent of each other. Develop mutual friends, interests and hobbies. Tell your partner 'I love you' regularly at the right moments.
3. Continue courtship after marriage. Spouses should continue to court and desire each other. Going out regularly for romantic evenings and giving unexpected gifts (such as flowers) are ways to help this love relationship. Engage in some high-energy fun activities such as massaging and dancing.
4. Make love, not war. A good sexual relationship can take years to develop; so work at making it better. Explore the techniques of lovemaking without feeling shy or inhibited. This can be helped by books such as The Joy of Sex and videos on lovemaking. Good grooming and a clean body are important.
5. Cherish your mate. Be proud of each other, not competitive or ambitious at the other's expense. Talk kindly about your spouse to others—do not put him or her down.
6. Prepare yourself for parenthood. Plan your family wisely and learn about child bearing and rearing. Learn about family-planning methods and avoid the anxieties of an unplanned pregnancy. The best environment for a child is a happy marriage.
7. Seek proper help when necessary. If difficulties arise and are causing problems, seek help. Your general practitioner will be able to help. Stress-related problems and depression in particular can be lethal in a marriage— they must be 'nipped in the bud'.
8. Do unto your mate as you would have your mate do unto you. This gets back to the unconscious childhood needs. Be aware of each other's feelings and be sensitive to each other's needs. Any marriage based on this rule has an excellent chance of success.